About Me

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Simple, sweet, loving, irresistible, smart, intelligent, humorous, intrepid, spontaneous, ah.. enough of jokes..

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

I Read Your Eyes !

I lost my heart in those eyes,
I lost my mind in those eyes,
People say eyes can kill,
But i m not dead,
I can die for those eyes 100 times, i feel.
You say nothing,
still i read a lot.

Your eyes tell me to look better,
or is it my insecurity?
I don't know why, 
I get feelings to look at my best, 
Whenever i have to face those damn killer eyes.
You say nothing,
still i want to read a lot...

Your actions makes me feel unwanted,
Then Y those eyes say that u need me.
Your words hurt me alot sometimes,
But those eyes confesses, it wasn't intended, 
infact it can never be..
You say nothing,
still do i really read a lot?

Sometimes You don't need words to say,
You trust me, even if i shout at u
You missed me, when i was not there
You want me to be with u, when things go apart
You want me to express, which i never do
You say nothing,
still i try to read a lot.

{P.S. : This post is dedicated to a cute friend of mine who is not in good health, as of now. Dear, You are the cuttest thing on this planet and will always be and try to forgive me for all the time i hurted u(i knw u always did). Take care as one of ur stupid friend is always worried.}

Friday, October 16, 2009

My Passion - Procrastination

He slept beneath the moon
he basked beneath the sun
he lived a life of going to do
and died with nothing done.
-james albery

I suppose we all have procrastinated things at some time in our lives but as of me, i am used to it. Being a Sagittarius, i love the phrase "arrey, ho jayega", n i have lived all my life in these words. I believe procrastination is not an easy task, it takes alot of courage to procrastinate your studies when u have ur board exams in next few hours n u are prepared with nothing yet. lol.. It's not only because of procrastination that i suffer all the time, sometimes it is also due to my over-confidence. Delayin' anything is not easy but delayin' almost everything definitely is.. n i come in 2nd category.. Whenever i plan things, i know i will mess it up.. I better live life spontaneously.. but there are times when we just wish that we didn't had procrastinated it.. So, i would like to share few of my gr8 experience with this not so gr8 habit of mine..

1. As a kid, i was frustrated with mom's nagging over li'l things, like stop watchin' TV, atleast have a look at ur books, eat food on time - n i wanted to run away, i decided, thrice i left the house, but everytime after reaching few miles, i procrastinated the idea for next time.
Reason: My kiddisness
Outcome: 'Thanx to my smart mind which stopped me, else i wouldn't be here'

2. As a teenage, i wanted to do something unique, to gain attention from my peers.. i did got attention, but 4 all the wicked reasons. All the good reasons i thought of , i procrastinated.
Reason: Being Notorious is easy than being Studious
Outcome:'No regrets, atleast i got famous'

3. When i grew up, i just wanted to become somethin' , sometimes doctor, sometimes actor, sometimes businessman, sometimes teacher, painter, photographer, sometimes many a things at a time - i got so confused that i procrastinated every thing.
Reason: My intelligence, which generated my interest in every field, but only upto a limit.
Outcome: 'Still, the decision is in process, just few doors are closed'

4. When i fell in love, i was ready to do everything for her - everythin' has such a wide and vague scope that i didn't know what to do ExaCtLy. I procrastinated everythin', even proving that i truly love.
Reason: Ego or Ignorance, Look Still Confused!
Outcome: 'No comments Mr. Procrastinator'

5. Whenever my exams came i planned a schedule, from the time i was in Std.6th till date, which has never been followed, - Just another schedule was prepared within 24 hours until the exams got over.
Reason: I have a weak memory for studies, so last moment, was the best moment.
Outcome:'It always boosted my confidence, that if i can score decent marks without my even 10% effort, i can do wonders if ever i don't procrastinate my schedule, next time.. OMG, when will that day come'

6. I wanted to crack CAT(Not so Common Aptitude Test) when i was in college n get admitted in IIM. I procrastinated it n today i m writing it with a hope that i don't delay it one more year.
Reason: Confusion, n Graduation
Outcome:'I will be sittin' for next years CAT, if only.. I know i will crack it, Someday or next year itself'

7. I lost many of my valuable clothes just because i procrastinated to wash it on time.. Imagine a shirt being soaked in water for a week.. N everyday me sayin' will wash it tomorrow until some smells started bothering neighbors.
Reason: I am busy, have other imp work as well.
Outcome:'I know it sucks...I'll have to take care in this matter atleast'

8. I got conscious about my weight 3 years back, when i was denied to donate blood due to my underweight..
Reason: Did't had much time to cook, or to eat on time.
Outcome: 'I m still swingin' in 50's, hope to get in 60's league in few months'

9. Many of my ideas have been lost or not presented in my blog, just becoz.. I Procrastinated.

So, What i believe is procrastination can't be avoided, it completes me. On the contrary, there are few thing where we should make the habit of "doing it now"...else we can just regret it later. We should learn to accept responsibilities and take the charge. We can't always wait for things to happen, sometimes we have to make it happen. Someone who hasn't revealed his identity had said once -

“Procrastination is like masturbation. At first it feels good, but in the end you’re only screwing yourself. ”

I mean, after sayin' such a motivational quote how can anyone hide himself. lolz

Procrastination sometimes is termed as a disease, but it is also favourable at times. Else i would have left home in my kiddies. Would like to know any memorable experience with this habit of urs, if any and definitely the excuses  or reasons u guys prepare. It tough to think of the excuses as well, ain't it? And as of me...

“Procrastination is my sin. It brings me naught but sorrow. I know that I should stop it. In fact, I will – tomorrow!”  - An Optimist 

Saturday, October 10, 2009

I Say i m Selfish

“It is not because the truth is too difficult to see that we make mistakes... we make mistakes because the easiest and most comfortable course for us is to seek insight where it accords with our emotions - especially selfish ones.”

We all are born selfish, whether we admit it or not. No one lives for anybody else n everybody expects others to live for them. That is how we are called human. Selfishness is devotion to or concern with one's own advantage or welfare to the exclusion of regard for others. Science and religion both teach selfishness. Selfishness results from the original sin of separation.It is the stinginess resulting from a concern for your own welfare and a disregard of others. We love anybody because that person makes us feel good, we feel better talking to them, sharing something with them, spending time with them, never because that person loves us. In today's dictionary 'LOVE' in itself means selfishness where we just stop caring about the rest of world except one person, neglecting the fact that we are just caring about our feelings not even that one person. But as human nature goes, we will still pretend that we love them.

Personally speakin' I have been a selfish being all my life, in practice, though not in principle. My so called principles and morals always said me that i am living for others and i hardly think about my own self, which is never true.

I say i care, i show i care, but when it is not valued don't i start barking it aloud to the whole world just proving that in reality i hardly care.

I say i love, i show i love, but when i am not loved in return don't i cry infront of others making that person culprit.

I say i need you, i show i need you, but when i feel ingnored don't i change my needs to drinks and smokin'.

I say i don't wanna hurt you, but don't i hurt you by repeating this phrase millions of time when you are just not interested.

I say i miss you, i show i miss you, but when you don't reply being busy with some serious stuff, don't i stop saying it next time.

I say i understand, i show i understand, but when you don't understand sometimes, don't i start making an issue.

I say i just want your happiness, but don't i become a hurdle when i see you being happy with someone else.

I say i m sorry, i show m sorry, but do i really mean it, when i keep on repeating the same mistakes again and again.

I say i l manage, i pretend i l manage, when i can't manage my emotions how can i say the same about life.

I say i don't give a damn, when i m obsessed with only that thing, m i not just keeping my ego at priority.

I say i don't cry, i pretend i never do, but why my pillow is wet most of the times.

I should better say i m selfish as any other human being rather pretending that i live for others, as if i m not human.

“Thinking more than others about our own thoughts is not self-centeredness. It means that if asked what’s on our mind, we are less likely to mention being aware of the world around us, and more likely to mention our inner reflections.”

I can't figure out that like me even you all are selfish, but this is me and according to me being selfish is not crime, unless you are hurting others for your selfishness. I just wish that my selfishness doesn't comes in others happiness, rather in there's about whom atleast i care or pretend to care.

(P.J. : I will be selfish untill i plan to settle down in himalayas.)