Grown Up or Grown Old !

Well, in few hours i will loose another year from my life.. I will grow older and along with ... will have to bear more responsibilities, will have to pretend as if i gained some more experience from life in all these years, will have to stop behaving like a kid and will be expected to act smarter, to be on my words, to get serious about studies and life, will be taunted on my silly feelings, will be......... watever... When i didn't cared till 21, so what's the fuss about being 22. I love myself the way i am, i love my stupidities, i love the kid inside me, i love being called mad, crazy, idiot caz of my feelings which are quite impractical in today's scenario, i love my anger which results in hurting people till end, i love my forgiveness which allows even the most unexpected people back in my life, i love my ego which keeps my dignity in my eyes atleast, i love repeating the same mistakes again if it's give me happiness (Imagine falling in love thrice... n with the same person.. that's just a example, so don't start using ur brains), i love making complete strangers as best buddies forever (m good at it), i love my creativity which are currently limited caz of my dis-interest in everything, i just love almost everything about myself.. the only thing i wish to change is my procrastination, which is my best supporter for every circumstances... but then again, that completes me.. that's completes a Sagittarius.. the "arrey ho jayega" n "I don't care" attitude.. lol

So, am i excited or pondering over getting old.. I don't know.. Presently, am not running through a phase which should have included birthdays or celebrations, and of mine, is like keeping a fake smile through out the day without feeling it.. M i happy, or completely broken, i have no idea.. All i know is that i am missing the most precious thing in my life.. Candy.. i mean sweets, doc has advised me to have less of them as it would harm me.. but did doc know that i can't even think a life without it.. i can't even see it.. how pathetic...

On the other hand the exciting thing attached to my b'day is my "Surprise b'day party"... How a party can be surprised if it's known already, but in my case indeed it is.. Cause i have to pretend as completely surprised, taken a back, as my Mom n Dad are visiting Delhi tomorrow to surprise me... 'Surprise me' cause they didn't told me about it, rather they lied that they would be coming by 20th of this month.. But my sweet n caring bro had to leak out the news as i was planning a party with friends, which i hardly needed.. Last year on the same great day, i had surprised my Mom n Dad by going at their place in Nagaland without informing them, so it's a pay-back time.. They were more than happy on my surprise visit and even i have the same feeling although it's no longer a surprise for me.. So, lets see, if i am good at acting or not... I love You Mom & Dad - You Guys mean the world to me, Bro u r also included along with missin' candy in my world...

Hmmm... So i would also like to mention about 'Paa..' - A movie which touched my heart, by not it's story but by class acting by Senior AB.. He can make jealous to any of the actor who pretend to be King in bollywood.. no intention to hurt any personal feelings... Although the movie was very good and Junior AB has also learned some acting skills by now, but the show we watched @ 11pm, had just we as the viewer... It gave a feeling like, as if we booked the multiplex as a hi-fi minister or something.. However, we enjoyed the movie alot.. Amit Ji Rockssss...

Last but not the least, '2 States' by Chetan Bhagat.. I thought to write my blog after i complete this novel, but i m in midway, n i wanted to discuss about many a thing else, so can't give my complete review on the book... This has been first time when i have not completed a CB book in one go... I did with all three earlier, Five Point Someone, One Night @ the call center, 3 Mistakes of my Life... But now my life has become such a mess, due to Job n all, that i can't think of that... Anyways... I like CB's way of narrating his stories, cause somewhere i can find a rhythm between his n mine way of saying something... he he.. Although he has far more observing power n he earns a tag of IIT-D n IIM-A, which i m still dreaming of... CB always wanted to become a writer n i haven't decided what to do with my life, he wanted to bring a change in India through his pen, which i guess, he has tried his best... Love ya CB... Anyhow, i would like to mention few lines which i won't forget even i keep the book away from my sight...

"Why would any guy want to be friends with a girl? It's like agreeing to be near a chocolate cake and never eat it. It's like sitting in a racing car but not driving it..." So damn funny n true in cases where u like the girl.

"Who the fuck invented the word sorry? How can there be just one word to answer anything one does....", True again...

Even it would be silly to compare myself with such huge talent India has, but we have one similarity, which i felt connection with... When Krish (male lead) was asked about which company he wants to join once he passes out from IIM-A by Ananya (his girlfriend), Krish answers... WPM..

"What's WPM"

"Whoever Pays More"...WPM

I follow the same policy : "If u want Loyalty, get a dog.. I work for Money.."

What M i Busy With???

Making Money on Farmville & Cafeworld, n things like which are too kiddish to mention... I hope every1 is aware of the first two.. Don't say no.. Caz they are the most talked about features these days on Facebook besides Mafia Wars.. Although i have joined mafia also but i believe in self employing rather than winning money by fighting n makin' Mafia.. My Mom would kill me if she comes to know that i have even joined Mafia.. Jokes Apart.. These are the games which keeps us busy throughout the day... Cooking n serving on time period of the related dish, else the dish will get wasted... Harvesting crops on time...I call my (few)neighbors in both the games if their food n crops are ready..  N i can't believe i enjoy it... this stupidity.. But there a kid in each one of us... Might be for the time being i am so bored of my life that i enjoy these games.. Never Mind...

What i really wanted to share was the heart touching songs of Ajab Prem ki Gazab Kahani... From Past one month i have been just humming these songs, (Tu jaane na, being my favorite) N believe me guys after a long time i heard a album which can be said as complete, in romantic sense.. So lemme mention few lyrics which are meaningful(might be from my side)..

1. Tera Hone Laga hoon(Romantic): 

Shining in the shade in sun like a pearl up on the ocean, Come and feel me, Haan Feel me
Shining in the shade in sun like a pearl up on the ocean, Come and heal me, Comon Heal me....
...Phele bhi raaton mein, Aksar hi chahat ke haan, Sapne Sanjota tha, 

Phele bhi dhadkan yeh, Dhun koi gaati thi, Par abb jo hota hai woh, Phele na hota tha....

....Annkhon Se Chuu Loon Ki, Bahein Tarasti Hain, Dil Ne Pukara Hai Haan, Abb Tu Chale Aao
Aao To Shabnam Ki Boodein Barasti Hain, Mausam Ishara Hai Haan, Aab To Chale Aoo......
....Tera Hone Laga Hoon, Khone Laga Hoon, Jab Se Mila Hoon

2. Prem Ki Naiyaa(Peppy Track):

Prem ki naaiya hai ram ke bharose, APni e naaiya ko paar tu lagai de....
...Kahin to hoga koi upaaye, Ki meri tu ho jaye, 
Chahe Mujhko tu bhi Umar bhar, Karun mein kya
Kya mantar padhu mein, Kya tantar karu mein, 
Aankhon ki chahat tujhe bhi dekhai de...

3. Main tera Dhadkan Teri(Funny):

Main Tera Dhadkan Teri, Yeh Din Tere,Raatein Teri..
Ab Bacha Kya,Ab Bacha Kya

....Kuch Yaar nazar nahi aata, ghar baar nazar nahi aata,
Sansaar nazar nahi aata.. jab pyaar hota hai..

4.Tu Janne Na( I can't mention few lines out of it, caz the whole song leaves me numb):

Kaise Batayein, Kyu Tujh ko Chahe, Yaara bata na Paaye
Baatein dil o ki, Dekho Jo Baaki, Aankhein tujhe Samjhaye
Tu Jaane Na, Tu Jaane Na, Tu Jaane Na, Tu Jaane Na

mil ke bhi, Hum na Mile, tumse na jaane Kyu, Milo ke hai Fansle..Tumse Na jaane kyu

Anjaane Hai SilSile, Tum Se Na Jaane Kyu, Sapno hai Palko Tale, Tum Se Na Jaane Kyu,

Nigahon mein dekho, jo hai bas gaya, woh hai milta tumse, hu ba hu..

Jaane teri Aankhein thi, ya baatein thi, Wajah.. hue tum jo, dil ki aarzoo

hum pass ho ke bhi, tum aas ho ke bhi, ehsaas ho ke bhi... apne nahi..

aise hai hum ko gileh.. tumse najaane kyu..

meelo ke hai fansle , tum se na jaane kyu.. tu jaane na..tu jaane na..

Khyalon mein laakohn baatein, yu toh keh gaya, bola kuch na tere sahmney...
hue na begaane bhi tum hoke aur ke, dekho tum na mere hi bane..
afsos hota hai, dil bhi yeh rota hai..Sapne sanjota hoa..pagla hua,

soche yeh..hum the mile ,unse se na jaane kyu,

meelo ke hai fansle, tum se na jaane kyu..

anjaane hai silsile, tumse najaane kyu, sapne hai palko tale, tumse najaane kyu..

Kaise Batayein, Kyu Tujh ko Chahe, Yaara bata na Paaye
Baatein dil o ki, Dekho Jo Baaki, Aankhein tujhe Samjhaye

Tu Jaane Na, Tu Jaane Na..

Listen to this track, n i bet u l fall in love with it, whether in Kailash Kher or Atif Aslam's Voice... Today Ajab Prem Ki Gazab Kahani is hitting the theaters, i n m dying to watch it with ajab gazab person(Top Secret, he he)..  Ranbir was cool in Wake Up Sid n Katrina doesn't need words to describe her beauty... 

At end, Soon i m about to join my long awaited Career Launcher classes for CAT exams( For those who are still unaware.. CAT exams is first step to get admitted in IIM's(Indian Institute of Management), N that's my only dream, as of now.. So, m excited.. Just Pray for me guys that i get rid of these idiotic games n concentrate on my career.. N yeah, the latest buzzzz... The New Orkut... Currently in beta phase, so only applicable on invitations.. like facebok, u can comment on status n all... Let's Wait n Watch..

My Passion - Procrastination

He slept beneath the moon
he basked beneath the sun
he lived a life of going to do
and died with nothing done.
-james albery

I suppose we all have procrastinated things at some time in our lives but as of me, i am used to it. Being a Sagittarius, i love the phrase "arrey, ho jayega", n i have lived all my life in these words. I believe procrastination is not an easy task, it takes alot of courage to procrastinate your studies when u have ur board exams in next few hours n u are prepared with nothing yet. lol.. It's not only because of procrastination that i suffer all the time, sometimes it is also due to my over-confidence. Delayin' anything is not easy but delayin' almost everything definitely is.. n i come in 2nd category.. Whenever i plan things, i know i will mess it up.. I better live life spontaneously.. but there are times when we just wish that we didn't had procrastinated it.. So, i would like to share few of my gr8 experience with this not so gr8 habit of mine..

1. As a kid, i was frustrated with mom's nagging over li'l things, like stop watchin' TV, atleast have a look at ur books, eat food on time - n i wanted to run away, i decided, thrice i left the house, but everytime after reaching few miles, i procrastinated the idea for next time.
Reason: My kiddisness
Outcome: 'Thanx to my smart mind which stopped me, else i wouldn't be here'

2. As a teenage, i wanted to do something unique, to gain attention from my peers.. i did got attention, but 4 all the wicked reasons. All the good reasons i thought of , i procrastinated.
Reason: Being Notorious is easy than being Studious
Outcome:'No regrets, atleast i got famous'

3. When i grew up, i just wanted to become somethin' , sometimes doctor, sometimes actor, sometimes businessman, sometimes teacher, painter, photographer, sometimes many a things at a time - i got so confused that i procrastinated every thing.
Reason: My intelligence, which generated my interest in every field, but only upto a limit.
Outcome: 'Still, the decision is in process, just few doors are closed'

4. When i fell in love, i was ready to do everything for her - everythin' has such a wide and vague scope that i didn't know what to do ExaCtLy. I procrastinated everythin', even proving that i truly love.
Reason: Ego or Ignorance, Look Still Confused!
Outcome: 'No comments Mr. Procrastinator'

5. Whenever my exams came i planned a schedule, from the time i was in Std.6th till date, which has never been followed, - Just another schedule was prepared within 24 hours until the exams got over.
Reason: I have a weak memory for studies, so last moment, was the best moment.
Outcome:'It always boosted my confidence, that if i can score decent marks without my even 10% effort, i can do wonders if ever i don't procrastinate my schedule, next time.. OMG, when will that day come'

6. I wanted to crack CAT(Not so Common Aptitude Test) when i was in college n get admitted in IIM. I procrastinated it n today i m writing it with a hope that i don't delay it one more year.
Reason: Confusion, n Graduation
Outcome:'I will be sittin' for next years CAT, if only.. I know i will crack it, Someday or next year itself'

7. I lost many of my valuable clothes just because i procrastinated to wash it on time.. Imagine a shirt being soaked in water for a week.. N everyday me sayin' will wash it tomorrow until some smells started bothering neighbors.
Reason: I am busy, have other imp work as well.
Outcome:'I know it sucks...I'll have to take care in this matter atleast'

8. I got conscious about my weight 3 years back, when i was denied to donate blood due to my underweight..
Reason: Did't had much time to cook, or to eat on time.
Outcome: 'I m still swingin' in 50's, hope to get in 60's league in few months'

9. Many of my ideas have been lost or not presented in my blog, just becoz.. I Procrastinated.

So, What i believe is procrastination can't be avoided, it completes me. On the contrary, there are few thing where we should make the habit of "doing it now"...else we can just regret it later. We should learn to accept responsibilities and take the charge. We can't always wait for things to happen, sometimes we have to make it happen. Someone who hasn't revealed his identity had said once -


“Procrastination is like masturbation. At first it feels good, but in the end you’re only screwing yourself. ”

I mean, after sayin' such a motivational quote how can anyone hide himself. lolz

Procrastination sometimes is termed as a disease, but it is also favourable at times. Else i would have left home in my kiddies. Would like to know any memorable experience with this habit of urs, if any and definitely the excuses  or reasons u guys prepare. It tough to think of the excuses as well, ain't it? And as of me...

“Procrastination is my sin. It brings me naught but sorrow. I know that I should stop it. In fact, I will – tomorrow!”  - An Optimist 

I Say i m Selfish

“It is not because the truth is too difficult to see that we make mistakes... we make mistakes because the easiest and most comfortable course for us is to seek insight where it accords with our emotions - especially selfish ones.”

We all are born selfish, whether we admit it or not. No one lives for anybody else n everybody expects others to live for them. That is how we are called human. Selfishness is devotion to or concern with one's own advantage or welfare to the exclusion of regard for others. Science and religion both teach selfishness. Selfishness results from the original sin of separation.It is the stinginess resulting from a concern for your own welfare and a disregard of others. We love anybody because that person makes us feel good, we feel better talking to them, sharing something with them, spending time with them, never because that person loves us. In today's dictionary 'LOVE' in itself means selfishness where we just stop caring about the rest of world except one person, neglecting the fact that we are just caring about our feelings not even that one person. But as human nature goes, we will still pretend that we love them.

Personally speakin' I have been a selfish being all my life, in practice, though not in principle. My so called principles and morals always said me that i am living for others and i hardly think about my own self, which is never true.

I say i care, i show i care, but when it is not valued don't i start barking it aloud to the whole world just proving that in reality i hardly care.

I say i love, i show i love, but when i am not loved in return don't i cry infront of others making that person culprit.

I say i need you, i show i need you, but when i feel ingnored don't i change my needs to drinks and smokin'.

I say i don't wanna hurt you, but don't i hurt you by repeating this phrase millions of time when you are just not interested.

I say i miss you, i show i miss you, but when you don't reply being busy with some serious stuff, don't i stop saying it next time.

I say i understand, i show i understand, but when you don't understand sometimes, don't i start making an issue.

I say i just want your happiness, but don't i become a hurdle when i see you being happy with someone else.

I say i m sorry, i show m sorry, but do i really mean it, when i keep on repeating the same mistakes again and again.

I say i l manage, i pretend i l manage, when i can't manage my emotions how can i say the same about life.

I say i don't give a damn, when i m obsessed with only that thing, m i not just keeping my ego at priority.

I say i don't cry, i pretend i never do, but why my pillow is wet most of the times.

I should better say i m selfish as any other human being rather pretending that i live for others, as if i m not human.

“Thinking more than others about our own thoughts is not self-centeredness. It means that if asked what’s on our mind, we are less likely to mention being aware of the world around us, and more likely to mention our inner reflections.”

I can't figure out that like me even you all are selfish, but this is me and according to me being selfish is not crime, unless you are hurting others for your selfishness. I just wish that my selfishness doesn't comes in others happiness, rather in there's about whom atleast i care or pretend to care.

(P.J. : I will be selfish untill i plan to settle down in himalayas.)

When Will You Die!

Facebook Declaration:

Atulya just found out the Death's Time:

Date: April 8 of 2010 at 11:58 pm.
Cause: Failed bunggie jumping
Age: 22 years old!

When will you die?

Facebook is up again with a new application to keep your mind busy. That happens every next day, unlike orkut which is just related to friends and communities ‘facebook offers a sack full of shits which is very helpful in wasting your precious time quite smartly. I have got to hear innovative quiz like How much Kaminney You really are? When will you marry? Mafia wars, How much hot is your name? blah blah blah.. So, this new quiz attracted me as every1 is eager to know about their future without paying to those Hippocrates tan-tricks and pandits. They really suck as they choose this profession of fooling others when they are capable of doing literally nothing. {No personal offence}

Using another application on facebook I hardly had any idea that God listens to me. I mean he really does, whenever I ask him something against me. He fulfils it asap. On the contrary when I wish something for myself he runs away sayin' ‘am too busy, catch ya later! cia!!’. How MEAN.. but he is God and we sudn’t argue. I never do, I just calm myself with 3 b’ful words “it doesn’t exist”. So Mr. Facebook just asked my birthdate and decided when I should leave this world. Interesting, Must Say!!

Coming back to my death which as predicted is just few months away, and gosssshhh where the hell would I get to do bungeeie jumping at 2 minutes to midnight. I am really excited as this will be 1^st experience of dying. N being honest I love to challenge death, with my speed which has crossed 130kmph mark, death always lost so I am writing, if I continue to write after 8^th of April, I would again win as always. Lets See, I am really looking forward to it…

Meanwhile, I am making a plan of doing things which I always wanted from life in next 6 months, God forbid if the prediction comes true. Here it goes, the things I really want to do before I die.

1. Look good: Though I never accept it but I know I look awful. Being lazy and ignorance are two prime factors for my awesomely awful looks. I just want to gain some weight, which is around 70kg in next 6 months. What if I didn’t lived healthy, I wanna die healthy. {Statutory Precaution: Don't trust my words above, Sometimes i can look exceptionally cute.}

2. Learn dance: I don’t know why I never expressed it but I feel vibes in me. I love street dancing, break dancing and romantic dance (though I don’t have a partner).

3. Learn martial arts: Karate has been a passion from my childhood, if only I just had ever pushed myself a li’l bit more I could have learned it years back.

4. Own a business of my own where I M D BOSS: Practically not possible in six months.

5. Learn swimming: I got saved two times from drowning in my teenage. I just want kill the fear of mine.

6. Get my hairs straight: Though it looks good sometimes but I am really fed up of my curls. Whenever I want to grow my hair long, it is really hard to manage.

7. Learn some manners: I lack it really, I mean how to respect elders and how to live with a joint family are things I never thought of.

8. Express Myself: I never expressed my care, my love to anyone, or whatever I did was just not enough. Rather I never thought it as important unless I lost everything except hope. All thanks to my best “bad timing”, I m born with it.

9. Mom: Oh, I always wanted to give her a lavishing life. 6 months is too short to fulfil her dreams which I have seen. Bro might help in it. So, sowweee Mom!!

10. Bhaiya’s Wedding: Now don’t trash me for this bro, but I want to see her and only her as my bhabhi, asap.

11. Sorry: I don’t mind saying sorry’s to people who matter or ever mattered to me. People close to me know me well, and they might know that none of my intensions were ever to hurt them.

12. Get rid of I don’t care attitude: So I have this as my punch line. But trust me guys I do care, just that I fear to show it.. I fear that my care will hurt you or if u don’t care about my care it will hurt me. (Ahhh.. So Complex)

13. Fame: I wish to get known for something good I have done in life, so that my parents can proudly say.. “He was MY Son”

14. Live up to my name: Atulya = incomparable, incredible, etc etc. Although I receive these comments often, but sometimes for my bad behaviour or my unseriousness towards life. Watever, I love mah name.

15. Get Lost On an island: Stupid One! But one of my wildest dreams is to get lost in an world where only two people survives. Me and My Love (in waiting).

16. Get balanced: Pendulum, suggested by Raj and followed by atulya, m tired of it. I want to get balanced composure of things in my life which can make life a bit simpler & easier.

17. Prove Someone:

Somebody wants you

Somebody needs you

Somebody dreams about you every single night

Somebody can't breath without you, it's lonely

Somebody hopes that someday you will see

That Somebody's Me …

Nice song na.. Enrique Rocks!!! Just want to prove not someone but everyone that I am not a bathroom singer, even I CAN SING!!

18. Loose Something: I have lost many a things in life, some due to weak memory, some due to ignorance and mostly due to negligence. But being 21 i wish to loose one more thing. Virginity. What? I m still virgin!! OMG.. But still I would prefer making love rather than having S.. something.. I mean.. Precisely.. Uff, Save me, it getting intricate.. Forget it…

19. Get a PUG: Remember the Hutch is now Vodafone Dog! I really wanna have it for getting my things done, like searching tie, shocks, waking me up, keeping my book open at the right page.. Sounds selfish na…

20.In end..... I wanna be 18 till I Die!

21. I wanna go for bunggie jumping on 8th of April, 2010 at 11:57pm... lolz

Movies that changed my life!!!

Annoying but truth is movies do have have impact on our life, only if we watch it seriously, n the reason i got to discuss n share this view is today i watched a movie which gave me jitters...

"Haal-e-dil"

As my mundane boring routine, i switched on the television n just for passing my valuable time i thought to give this movie a try.. as i watched it seriously from head to toe, at the end i realised that what a bullshit n meaningless my life has become.. For those who r interpreting me wrong n r giving a thought to watch this flick that it might give some message, m hearteadly sorry caz whole of the movie was completely crap.. it bound me to give a thought that how the f**k can i waste 3 hours with a such a irratiting acting n no script.. why m i forcing myself to watch movies like this, istead of doing something productive...

2 days back one of my dear frend Kapil dragged me to watch "PAYING GUEST", senseless comedy n wastage of 280 bucks was wat i ended with.. the actors were trying hard to bring a smile on audience faces but they barely realised during making of the movie dat the audience will try hard to stop their tears about the amount of money invested, n regarding me i was rather in deep thought as how to manage the budget of next month as i had already become pennyless..

So there are many more movies which really confuses me for if movies r really meant for entertainment .. to mention further some of the blockbusters like singh is king n welcome which is shown almost every 2nd day on either NDTV imagine or colours or star plus, gold.. Crap man.. there's a limit to check audience patience ..

c'mon guys, give me a break n thanx for making such meaningless movies, atleast a time will come when we stop paying our hard labour on these shits.. N i hope that atleast i wud start doing sumthing productive better than watching those holy shits...

would love to know ur experiences with some disasterous movies which either changed ur life or even u gave a second thought b4 watching n wasting ur valuable money n tym..